Walk through the mountains and trails near your house. It is fall after all. Find a HUGE branch on the ground. Walk illegally down a long highway as two different cars full of state troopers pass you stealing "wildlife." Sneakily collect some random fall things that you find on the ground. you know: acorns. rocks. moss. what looks like miniature tumble weeds. some of those pretty leaves living around your car.
Take that vase the nice church ladies gave you after the church rummage sale was through, knowing that you make less than minimum wage this year, and will take just about anything that's free. (thanks rummage sale!)
Artfully arrange (read: throw in) the random nature that you collected.
Get distracted by making things look "artful" (is that even a word?) and forget that you told your roommate that you would cut up and cook the veggies for dinner.
Stress out some more about how the tree branch is positioned, take everything out, and start again - this time while the baked ziti is in the oven. This time you manage to remember it, and don't let it burn.
Get twigs and stuff all over the floor you swept earlier this morning, and then put it on the table, and take copious amounts of photos.
See how easy it is to be Martha Stewart? YAY!
I feel like I can actually hear you saying everything you're writing/typing (yes, shameless stalking is happening).
ReplyDeleteAlso, how in dear god's name did you get TB? I mean, really Miriam? Really? (Are you tired of people blaming you for this yet?)
-Sana
Miriam, you're hilarious. I love it.
ReplyDelete